Braden Friske's Piece of Mind Chapter One Preview

October 15th, 2018

“Matthew?” A man says as he’s trying to get somebody’s attention. Matthew, a young boy with dark brown hair and paler than average skin, becomes more attentive. Matthew gazes at his therapist; James, with his tired eyes, the type of eyes that’d make you swear he was dead inside, yeah, those eyes.

“Yeah, James?” Matthew asks with a soft but distinguished voice. A voice that’s void of energy and happiness even.

“This is only going to work if you actually talk to me, Matthew. Let’s start small; tell me about your family,” James says with a smile.

James is that type of man who always seems full of life, always seems happy and peppy. Matthew can’t stop looking at James; he’s the only thing in this room that has any color besides browns and reds. James wears his shirt tight, he’s overweight, and it shows; he also struggles with his hair. James isn’t that old looking, but his hair looks greasy and not evenly distributed on the top of his head, and his beard is out of control. It seems like he hasn’t shaved or combed through it in weeks. Does he not care about his appearance, or is it something more? he must be balding? The room is-.

“Matthew, c’mon, man,” James says, more stern than the last.

Matthew breaks his observation and is attentive again. “I’m sorry, you’re right; it’ll be better if I actually talk. What’d you want me to talk about again? My family?” Matthew asks.

“Yes, that’s right,” James says, excited Matthew might talk.

Matthew sits and thinks, “there really isn’t much to my family; I have a Mom and a Dad, no siblings.”

“Are they still together? Your Mom and Dad?” James asks with his hand playing with his coarse beard.

Matthew would rather not talk about it. James notices Matthew’s change in body language.

“Assume they’re still together, so he corrects you….” A whisper that only Matthew can hear emerges.

“So they are still together, nothing more to talk about?” James asks as he knows it’s a good trick.

Matthew looks at James and stares him in his eyes; Matthew knows the trick James is playing. Matthew ponders if he should play with him or go along with it. “Yeah, pretty much,” Matthew says.

“Bullshit, I’ve been here for over 20 minutes. Why is the kid so defensive about opening up?....” the whisper that Matthew can hear speaks up.

“What about the last couple months, Matthew? I’ve heard you’ve been having problems in school. Something about a-” James speaks but is cut off by Matthew.

“Yes, I’ve been having a lot of, uh, issues, I suppose,” Matthew says, almost disgruntled.

“Well, now is the perfect time to talk about it, Matthew,” James says, taking his hand off of his beard.

He and Matthew make eye contact as Matthew has gone back to his original position on the chair, with his elbows on his knees and his hands on his face cheeks. Matthew lets a large sigh as he knows this will take a long time. James is giddy on the inside and bears a huge smile. Had he finally gotten Matthew to talk? As James’ excitement is showing, Matthew’s sorrow comes to light.

Matthew and James sit, staring at each other in silence. Matthew begins tearing up, having to recall the last month. James believes he should say something to comfort Matthew. Just as James was about to speak, Matthew spoke. “I don’t even know where to begin,” Matthew ponders.

James chimes in, “Matthew, I don’t know anything about you besides what is on this referral paper. Dude, Matthew, just tell me about Matthew.”.

Matthew finally knows how to form it into words and begins to let it out. “Well, my name is Matthew Cadd; I was born and raised here in northern Michigan. Just below the bridge, that is. I guess I’m a pretty big nerd for ‘The Ratman,’ some things come close, but Ratman will always be number one in my book. I’m a senior at this shitty high school and have no clue what to do with my shitty life.” Matthew huffs.

“That shitty life just somehow gets just a teensy bit more shittier every day, somehow. My Dad is a total asswipe, and his soon-to-be wife is too. My Mom has been sleeping on the couch just about every night, and I feel awful, but my bed is too small to have both of us. I guess it doesn’t matter anyway, you see, any day now, my Mother will run away from this life she had created. I yearn and crave a normal life”.

James nods, “That’s a good start Matthew; thank you for sharing that with me. Matthew, if I’m being honest, there is no such thing as normal, you are you, and I am I. This accident is just temporary; the aftermath is also temporary. Matthew, you need to get it out; it’s consuming your mind. You need to talk to someone about it, someone like me, Matthew.”

“Okay, yeah, yeah, I’ll bite,” Matthew says as he wipes his tears

James grips his pen and notepad on the word “okay.”

Matthew clears his throat and wipes his tears away again, “Okay, okay, lemme…” ,blink.

September 10th, 2018

Matthew blinks, “... THINK ABOUT IT!” a brighter, glowing, healthier, Matthew says in a joking way.

He and his best friend Pete talk amongst themselves in the school hallway as they walk out of school to head over to a friend’s house before football practice. Pete has been Matthew’s best friend for about 7 years. Pete takes himself too seriously dressing the way he does. I mean, for real, a fucking hoodie in the September heat? He looks like an idiot.

“No think about it; it’d be more bang for my buck rather than buying a ten thousand dollar car,” Matthew said, trying to get through Pete’s thick skull.

Matthew looks at Pete, his light brown skin, dark hair, and overweight body in those baggy clothes. “Yeah, but why wouldn’t you want a newer ride? I know bitches ain’t tryna ride in a 05, bro.” Pete says as he shakes his large fingers, “no.”

Matthew scoffs, “Bro, not every single thing on this planet is about bitches man.”

“That’s why you ain’t got no bitches bro-” Pete says almost mockingly but cuts off as he notices his teacher walking up to the two.

“Now, gentlemen, I know it’s our first month back, but I just know in my good heart and soul we aren’t cussing in my hallways?” Mr. Mona asks as he rests his hands on their outer shoulder.

Pete instantly sucks up, “No, Mr. Mona, we won’t cuss no more.”

Mr. Mona begins patting Matthew’s shoulder, but then it turns more into a hold.

“Good.” Mr. Mona utters out satisfyingly as he continues to hold Matthew’s arm.

Matthew grows uncomfortable, but before he can do something about it, he instantly becomes incredibly dizzy and trips over his feet shortly after.

Mr. Mona notices this, “Oh goodness, I hope you are alright, Matthew. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you, now would we?”

Matthew looked up at Mr. Mona’s face; he wasn’t really worried, just observing. Matthew had always had a weird relationship with Mr. Mona; he would go out of his way to talk with Matthew and ensure he was always included in class. Matthew shrugs this off as being nice but keeps it noted as he feels he may be Mr. Mona’s favorite.

Mr. Mona smiles as he sees Matthew is okay, “This will be a good school year, kids.” Mr. Mona then leaves after an odd chuckle.

“Bro, you good? Bruh, you are so soft he didn’t even yell at us. why would you trip and fall?” Pete says, followed by a short laugh.

“Yeah, I don’t know; I just got light-headed,” Matthew says while getting up with help from Pete.

“Anyways, senior year is supposed to be like our oyster among lambs, our last good year,” Pete says seemingly confidently.

“Oyster among lambs? Pete, that’s fucking stupid and doesn’t make sense, moron.” Matthew says snarkily.

“But you know what I mean, I’m trying to get my dick wet this year multiple times with multiple girls,” Pete says in an annoying smug way.

“As if this year will be any different from any other school year, Pete; you romanticize this shitty school too much,” Matthew says, annoyed.

“Well, c’mon, man, I’m just trying to get laid; if I don’t get laid this year, I’ll be going into college a virgin; NO BITCH WANTS THAT BRO!” Pete exaggerates.

“Okay, chill, bro, keep it down,” Matthew says while just trying to end this current conversation.

The two friends make it outside their small-town school and begin walking along the sidewalk; they head down to Taylor’s house. He’s a “fun stoner friend,” where they’ll smoke and chill before football practice.

“Say, how are you and Jennifer?” Pete asks with a shit-eating grin.

“It’s Jessica, and you already know that, asshole. Truth be told, I don’t know exactly how we are doing.”

Pete smiles, “Bro, she is just using you as a rebound, no really think about it. Jessica and douchebag break up, and little Matthew slides in. Jessica thinks to herself, “fresh meat,” as Matthew falls prey to another hopeless relationship. I’d get in and fuck that psycho asap.”

“Hey, fuck you, Pete, she isn’t some psycho or predator or whatever else you are trying to say.”

Pete takes in the concern and thinks for a second, “Okay, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that; all I’m doing is watching out for your best interest. Get sex and then leave her before she consumes you, man.”

“Pete, she’s different, okay? She isn’t like other girls around here.”

“Do you accept it or not?” Pete asks Matthew.

Matthew turns his neck over to Pete, “What?” Matthew asks, confused.

“Yeah, mckayyyy, as if that hasn’t been used to describe millions of women,” Pete says, still confident that he’s in the right.

“Dude, I didn’t shit on you when you talked to that fat chick. Soon enough, I’ll have my own vehicle, something Jessica doesn’t have yet, and I can drive her around and shit.”

“Yeah, your own vehicle that will be like, what? 5 years younger than you? You cool with a pussy repellent on hand? No bitch will want to ride with you besides maybe freshmen girls. How about that? Hey Matthew, you want some 14-year-old pussy?”

“You’re gross, Pete; I thought we moved on from roasting my future ride.”

“Ah, but it’s the truth, dumbass,”

“But-”

“But we are here at Taylor’s, so shut the fuck up? Yeah?” Pete says as the two look up at the trashed house. The shingles are peeling, hanging off the gutters too. The siding on the house is run down too.

Taylor answers the door with bloodshot eyes that can barely stay open, “Heya pals, come on in; try Sloppy Joe’s new vape juice; shit is called ‘strawberry dreams’ and it’s mad fire, yo.”

Matthew gags at the thought of trying a strawberry vape again as he steps into the shitty house to kill time before football practice. The house wouldn’t pass any inspection Matthew knows of. Drywall peeling off walls, holes punched in too. Matthew and Pete join in on Taylor’s bong rotation, alongside Jordan and Sloppy Joe. The five all sit in Taylor’s trashed-out living room as they pass around an ice blue bong; that bong seems to be the most excellent-looking thing in the house.

There is trash or clutter everywhere, just enough room for a few kids to sit and smoke. The interior walls have drywall slabs and missing wallpaper. The bong rotation is interrupted so that Pete and Matthew can join.

“No thanks,” Matthew says with his hands out to stop the bong from being pushed over to him.

“Gimme dat,” Pete says as he reaches to yank it out of the passer’s hand.

“Matthew thinks lower of us just because we spark up.” Pete snobbily.

“That’s not true, Pete; it just doesn’t do anything for me,” Matthew defends himself.

“But you still vape, right?” Sloppy Joe asks Matthew with his mouth wide open.

“No, no, I actually quit a while ago,” Matthew says, proud of himself.

As he lights up the bong, Pete shakes his head, annoyed with Matthew. He hits it long and hard, holds it in too, and then exhales. “That’s some good ass weed to slonk,” Pete yells with smoke still exiting his mouth.

The teens are all high and look over to Matthew; Pete leads with, “Are you going to do anything besides not doing anything, Matt?” Pete’s annoyed with Matthew’s sobriety. Pete looks closer and realizes Matthew is on his phone texting, Jessica. “Aw man, you going full loser on us, texting some broad instead of doing something with us?”

“But-” Matthew tries to speak.

“No butts, unless we are talking about Ashley’s fat honkers,” Pete says while laughing.

“Aren’t honkers boobs? You are talking about her ass, and she doesn’t have a big ass or tits; she’s just big Pete.” Matthew says while holding a smile.

“You just got your panties in a bunch, bro. You are whipped, and you aren’t even dating her; lemme see that,” Pete says as he looks at the texts.

heyyyy

Hey you down to hangout after I’m out of practice today???

Ofc <3

Meet me around 5:30?

Yessir :)

“You are absolutely pussy whipped; you will do anything to have sex, won’t you?” Pete asks, laughing hysterically.

“Pete, it’s more than sex, it-” Matthew tries to have Pete see reason.

“Bong rip, now Mr. whipped,” Pete demands.

“Hey, weed ain’t exactly cheap, bro; if he doesn’t want to smoke, it’s cool. Plus, Jordan on his phone too.” Taylor says in his monotone voice.

“Shut the fuck up, Taylor. I’m not stopping until Matt’s stoner hater boner goes away. Deadass been sucking all of the fun out of the room like Jared’s sister with the softball team’s clits.” Pete says nastily.

Jordan gets annoyed about the call out and gets off of his phone to talk to the group. “So, football? you guys get any wins?” Jordan asks, as Pete has a particular way of dragging people down into a certain mood.

“No, we suck big fucking donkey dick apparently,” Pete says, annoyed as well.

“So then, what’s the point in playing? Jordan asks, shaking his head.

“I’ll tell you why Jordan, us athletes get dozens of blonde bimbos. D-T-F… THEY ARE DOWN TO FUCK, BRO! I hooked up with Alyssa M, touched Alyssa C’s boobs, and talked to that Kenna bitch.” Pete ups his voice.

“You’re a fucking liar; the only one who is D-T-F is that fat bitch you had sex with. Ya probably fucked all the fat rolls off her.” Jordan laughs.

“That’s not funny dickhead; you know her family calls her fat every day?” Pete says wholeheartedly.

The group bursts out in laughter at Pete; they find it ironic that he gets upset over similar things he says. “Ah, can dish it out but can’t take it?” Jordan asks.

“Fuck you, Jordan,” Pete says shortly

“Pete… the gentle type?” Taylor jokes.

“Pete, you’re annoying everyone. Can you just chill with it?” Matthew asks.

“Hey, look, everybody, I’m Matt, and I got a hate boner on the healthiest thing on earth since mother fucking broccoli. And I’m texting this flat-chested girl instead of hanging out with my friends.” Pete pauses to look at Taylor, “Taylor, this is your house; make this pussy deprived, pussy smoke.” Pete yells, happy with his wording.

The entire group stops and stares at Pete’s ignorance. Matthew gets up to walk out the front door. Pete may have gone too far, again.

“Pete, you just need to sit down and shut the fuck up; this is why you don’t have a lot of friends. You are too damn loud, scaring both bros and hoes alike.” Jordan said in disapproval.

Pete realizes Jordan is right, so he follows Matthew outside; Matt’s already yards ahead. Pete starts running after Matthew so that he can try and make things right before practice. He reaches Matt after running out of breath, and the two continue walking to the practice room.

“So you joined football but can’t run a couple dozen yards without huffing?” Matthew asks jokingly.

“Yeah, Matt, that’s me, thanks,” Pete says, huffing for air.

“Sorry, but you were a bit much back there, don’t you think?” Matthew asks.

“Yeah, sure, man, whatever. Why is Jessica so important to you?” Pete asks shortly.

“I don’t know, Pete; why is being an ass so important to you?” Matthew deflects the question.

“Listen, Matt, you know she’s had sex with like everyone besides you?” Pete asks rudely.

“Four times doesn’t equal everyone.” Matthew dismisses.

“Four people, not four times, this past year or so. You’d be the 5th person inside her; you want and need that so badly?” Pete asks.

“Okay, I get it, but what am I supposed to do? Stop talking to her because she had sex?” Matthew asks defensively, raising his voice.

“Yes, bro, please trust me when I say she’s trouble. You’d be so much better off going after someone else.” Pete explains in his way.

“Didn’t you try getting with her last year when she was in school?” Matthew asks.

“Yes, exactly, I have experience with her. I know you are hanging out with her today after practice. Just do yourself a favor and ditch the bitch” Pete says, emphasizing the rhyme.

“Pete, to be honest, you sound jealous. I’m not ditching her; I’ve put too much time into it.” Matthew explains as if Pete would grasp what he was saying.

“So then ask her out, and she’ll say no, and you’ll cry,” Pete says shortly.

Matthew looks at Pete with the biggest grin possible.

“Don’t tell me you two are actually dating. Are you?” Pete asks in a disappointed tone.

“Yes, but we aren’t really talking about it. You’re the first one to know.” Matthew says. It makes Matthew happy knowing she’s his.

“On one hand, I feel thankful for being in the know. On the other hand, I feel like I gotta save you!” Pete exclaims dramatically.

“Save me?” Matthew laughs.

“Uhhhhh yeah, bro, she is definitely either cheating or playing games with her grown-ass man ex,” Pete pauses for air, “Or both,” Pete breathes heavily again.

“No, Pete, that’s stupid; she just doesn’t want drama,” Matthew explains.

“What drama, bro? Dating you comes with drama? Or does she just not want her actual man to know?” Pete asks as he points at his brain as if he came up with something wise.

Matthew ponders it for a moment, could the relationship be a lie? Could he be being used? A small wave of anxiety flashes over Matthew. The two friends made it to the locker room with about 5 minutes left to change. Matthew and Pete stop the chit-chat as the last statement still has Matthew stunned; the two put on their practice gear and jog out to the field for practice.

After stretching, the coach makes the boys run through the plays. The boys get their helmets on, and all get in their positions; Matthew is on defense. Play 1 Matthew slams into the offensive line, making the other player stumble. Play 2 Matthew got past the line but wasn’t even close to the quarterback. Play 3 Matthew starts thinking about the whole Jessica situation.

Out of everything Pete said, why does this one stick with him? Matthew gets pushed over this play. Play 4 Matthew repeats himself; play 5 too. After countless plays, Matthew begins finding a new friend in the ground.

“Alright, that’s enough offense; good job today. Defense? Run.” Coach yells.

All the kids on defense roll their eyes or groan; they get their asses kicked then they have to run. 5 laps go by, and then 5 more laps go by.

The coach gives reassurance by saying, “just one more for the football gods,” and the players all do.

With sweat running from their brows and lungs out of breath, the coach starts wrapping the practice up. He makes them all take a knee, take off their gear and get some water.

“Listen, those boys might kick your ass this Friday. I need everyone on their best behavior in school; I’m talking about no fuck-ups, no bad grades, no skipping, shit like that. If we can all do that and put in our time at practice, we can possibly bend that other team over, if you catch my drift.” The coach breaks it down

The coach tells the quarterback to “bring it in,” and the kids all do their school shout. Matthew returns to his locker and sees a text that Jessica is already there. Matthew’s heart races, and his cheeks fill with red excitement. He rushes to get changed and to make it out of the door. He was so rushed that he didn’t realize his shirt was inside out, so of course, he made an adjustment.

Matthew checks his hair one last time to make it over to the bleachers, where a couple of boys seem to be flirting with Jessica. Matthew catches a slight touch of jealousy but quickly shuts it down as he’ll be the one spending time with Jessica.

He pardons his way through the small crowd of guys to ask Jessica, “You ready to head out?”

“Yes, Matty,” Jessica says as she turns around, “Bye, boys!” Jessica says as she waves goodbye to Matthew’s teammates.

As she does, Matthew turns around to see two of them looking at her ass. He swallows his jealousy again.

“She wears revealing stuff because she’s sexy, and I look too, so it’s no big deal.” Matthew thinks to himself. “With her wearing a short pink skirt, black tank top, and the bright pink hair, who wouldn’t look and stare?” He continues.

“So, what was that all about?” Matthew asks insecurely.

“Oh nothing, they just wanted to come up and talk to me, I guess,” Jessica says as she plays dumb.

“Right,” Matthew says as he should end that conversation, “what were they saying?” Matthew asks out of jealousy, extending the conversation.

“Oh, Matty, I was barely paying any attention.” Jessica continues.

Matthew believes her and leaves it at that, “So what if the guys were flirting with her? I’m the one dating her.” Matthew thinks.

The two get into boring small talk as they go down their favorite walking trail. “How was your day?” Jessica asks.

“Oh, mine was good; what about yours, Jess?” Matthew answers and asks.

“It was fine; doing better now,” Jessica says while keeping it short and flirty.

“Is that so? what are we going to be doing in the next-” Matthew looks down at his phone to check the time. “Hour and twenty-three minutes?”

“Maybe you should walk with me and find out Matthew,” Jessica says.

There it is; when she says his name, his heart flutters. Matthew can hardly believe he’s dating her. They’ve known each other since they’ve been kids. “We’ve known each other since we were kids.” Matthew blurts.

“Yes, Matty, I’m aware,” Jessica says with sass.

Stupid thing to say; Matthew thinks he should stop saying everything he believes. The two walk and talk for what feels like to Matthew 10 minutes. The hour and a half flew by like nothing. The two walk near Matthew’s house, Jessica stops about 10 yards away from Matthew’s driveway; she knows how parents can be. She puts her arms over Matthew’s head and rests them on his shoulders. Matthew’s heart could explode; his face feels so hot it may burn her arms.

“Does she want me to kiss her? I mean, I feel like she does; I just don’t know if she wants it. Do I ask if I can kiss her? Do I-” Matthew’s thought is interrupted by Jessica coming up closer and giving him a small peck on the cheek and a pat on his dick.

The sexual action confuses Matthew, both sweet and dirty. Matthew can’t let their “date” end like this. Jessica feels a tug on her shoulder, a little rough, but Matthew now has her attention. He puts his hands on her waist, and she throws her arms over his head again. A solid second goes by when Matthew builds up the courage to kiss her.

The first attempt was soft and too fast, so he goes in for a second one, and they make out. He felt like it was rushed, but it was enjoyed. Jessica gives him a smile and a giggle as she starts her walk home, that giggle is addictive, and Matthew plays it in his head over and over again.

Matthew’s night- Scratch that; Matthew’s whole damn month was made because of that moment. Most boys only have sex on their minds, and usually, Matthew does too. However, Matthew cannot even think of sex with Jessica, it feels almost disrespectful to Matthew.

All he can think of her is in a loving and caring way; sex will have to be way later. Matthew walks into his house glowing with joy. But as he closes the door, he realizes his Mom and Dad are already mid-argument in the large house that actually feels small and lonely, especially with the dreadful divorce. The divorce cuts into Matthew deep, he’s seen it coming for a while now, but the last few months spelled it out nicely for him.

At the very least, Matthew can rest knowing the divorce was never his fault. Matthew loves both of his parents, even though his father Ron can be harder to love. With his loud yelling, anger, and outbursts, Matthew still tries to love his father. Matthew loves his Mother, Sherry as well; she takes a lot of reassurance and mental labor. All of the negatives with these two have been amplified tenfold by the divorce.

The divorce is all Ron’s fault as Sherry looked around where she shouldn’t have been looking and found out he had been cheating on her with someone about half her age.

“So what the fuck you want me to do about it, Sherry? Newsflash, I don’t fucking care if you move in at your Mother’s; in fact, I encourage it as I’m not going to give you my fucking money!” Ron screams to Sherry.

“Oh, what the fuck ever, Ron, I don’t need your cheater’s money anyways,” Sherry says nervously.

“Mom, Dad, I’m home,” Matthew announces.

The two stop arguing, knowing they’ll continue it at a later time. “Yeah, that’s nice, son; I’m heading out for a bit,” Ron says.

Matthew nods his head in acknowledgment as he heads for his room. Pete texted him; however, he needed to text Jessica first.

I really enjoyed today

As he waits for her to text back, he checks out what Pete wants. Pete can be too much at times, but he means well.

when you hopping on doe ?

5 mins and I’ll be on

Lol, im calling bs on that XD

Relax Pete I’m hopping on now

Matthew chuckles and flips back over to Jessica; still no response. Matthew grabs his headset and his controller, sits in his chair and turns the tv and console on. He sees that Pete has already invited him to a chat and to play the two’s favorite game.

“Thank god this butt sniffa hopped on so we can shit on some kids,” Pete says through the voice chat.

Matthew laughs and plays along with Pete.“Chill, man, I just got on. Some warm-up games would go nicely.” Matthew says as he rechecks his texts.

“Speak for yourself. I’ve been playing since practice. I’m all cocked up and ready to go.” Pete says.

Matthew checks his phone almost out of instinct; he doesn’t even mean to. He finds himself craving attention from this girl like none other.

“Bro, are you even listening right now?” Pete asks.

“Yeah, Pete, I am; you got hemorrhoids or something like that. That’s why you can’t play in this week’s game.” Matthew says jokingly; Pete is right, though; Matthew isn’t listening to him.

“Haha, let’s make fun of the kid with IBS. And that game is going to be an easy win.” Pete laughs.

“That’s funny, Pete; that team will whoop our ass. And you can sling shit out all day long but cannot take the heat back.” Matthew laughs with him.

“Whatever you say, dipshit, ready to play?” Pete asks, growing tired of waiting.

Matthew checks his phone again, no text.

Did I do something wrong?

I’m sorry if I did, I’ll be playing games with Pete.

Goodnight Jess :)

“Yeah, Pete, I’m ready,” Matthew says with a smile.

Thank you for reading Chapter One of Braden Friske's Piece of Mind

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